Monday, December 25, 2006
it's christmas day. just came home from kembangan. haha. played abit of bball with zhonghua n ping.. floor so freaking slippery. zz. let's talk about how i spent this festive season!
well, for x'mas eve woke up at around 12 i guess. then went to eat mee soto with ying! yummy. it's been such a long time since i mee soto-ed. haha. went home to bathe and make cards and prepare presents. did everything in a rush and then went to the station to meet jl. haha we went marina square to watch 'the curse of the golden flower'. erm. it's a okay movie. i guess.. haha. oh and when jay appeared everybody laughed for dunno what reason. lol. its quite an interesting movie but the soldiers fighting part was really boring. and it had a stupid ending. oh well. enough with this funny movie. after movie it was walking at esplanade and chatting at merlion park. gave him the card i made. and he likes it! hee. i got artistic talent okay. have to thank him for my present too. =) thanks lots for spending x'mas eve with me too.
then ying called and tell me she is at marina bay.. not marina square. haha. such a big joker. at around midnight. met ying to go countdown over at orchard. had lotsa fun spraying and screaming and sneak-attacking. saw lotsa cute guys too. =P after some time cabbed back to raimah for supper. shared a roti john and we got too full already. rotted at cc for so freaking long just to wait for some freaking person. just can't help but get pissed off sometimes. well, seriously nobody can blame me for feeling this way. to think i spent so much. but its okay. ying and me can just change everything and make it sound like just a big joke! haha.
head back for ying's at around 3plus? gosh. waited for so long man. at ying's i mario-karted till 5 before i went to meet my prince charming in lala land. hee.
well on xmas day? we went to escape theme park. there were ying's cousins and fhm. haha. well it was quite fun and really cheap. it's only 6 bucks. everything was fun till it start to rain. damn. waited so damn long for the go kart ride! oh well. it was sorta worth it. really fun! vroom vroom. came back to kemb to bball. yep. shagged and sick.
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you tried to hide it. you wanted to.
as usual. COWs go forWARD.
the greatest gift on earth.
is one that i will treasure and keep with me. i'll only throw it away if i don't want it anymore.
are you throwing it away already?
-_-.. how i know? your mind too complex for my understanding..
grr. i'm crapping.
10:43 PM
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
secret post dated Nov27-
..i know he is a nice guy that cares for me. that is why i am worried that i may be fickle and hurt him. i really can't bring myself to let that happen. and yet after thinking so much recently, i can't help but fear that that day will come. it will come. but right now i am really happy when i'm with him. that's all that matters to me now. the present.there was once i said to someone, 'you came too late. this is all i've ever wished for for the past 2 years. but now its too late. you came too late. cos now my heart belongs to another.'-won't you say the same?
it seems that there is no more present.
my head's got this whirring sound all the time, it just makes me feel dizzy. running in the rain sure doesn't help much. watching him go makes things even worse. i just couldn't help but ...
i'm sure i can still live without him. cos yes, carol is a strong girl. she wants to protect herself from hurt. but it's just too painful. sometimes she needs someone to protect her too.
so cold and distant, he doesn't even dare to come near me.
bet he doesn't even dare to come here. to read this. ha! there's no use in feeling guilty. it doesn't change anything.
one thing that i have to count myself lucky about is that there wasn't some stupid letter. gosh. i really pity her. hope she's doing fine now.
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'do you trust me?' that's what you said and what i did. now there's not enough integrity for that to come out from you anymore.
12:47 PM
Monday, December 18, 2006
consider myself lucky that he contacted me just before i was going to snap. grr. i think im blinded by my own anger, i can't even think straight. in fact, i don't know what i'm thinking or what i'm feeling. my mind's just a blank. oh wells, shall stop thinking then. let's talk about random stuff.
went for 1504 class outing. it was a last minute thing, thus the turn up rate was all time low. we went sentosa and the sky was crying like nobody's business. poor us get all drenched up and we were still playing funny ball games. the only satisfying thing was dinner at sakae. i just love sashimi. the scallop thingy was nice too. yum yum. oh there was a special guest too. haha. welcome to 1504. =)
something about yesterday made my heart so sour. freak you.
random stuff random stuff.
oh. a stupid auntie stole my umbrella. got home all wet just now. luckily i stayed very very nearby. on second thought it didn't really matter cos it just takes 5 seconds to get drenched to the skin under that rainstorm.
haha. this is really random.
anyway, ying's coming back. can't wait. i wanna play more bball, hang around with her and spend less time thinking about stuff. hey. at the mention of this she's coming back 2 days from now! omg! i better go find out her flight number n arrival time now. haha
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throat hurts. hope i get well soon.
poor me. i'm sick and that J is nowhere to be seen.
freak you.
10:34 PM
Sunday, December 10, 2006
am i given a choice? am i even allowed to say anything?
11:13 AM
1
now im left with 1. LOL. irritating.
is there another chance?
12:51 AM
Saturday, December 09, 2006
time is passing by too quickly! argh no! haha.
anyway, once again i really wanna thank all of you. yink khuan, hong ming, ky, ying, jl, becky, god bro and many others who brighten up my day in one way or another! yay-ness. =)
oh and thank lay hong for that early christmas prezzie you got me. hmm. christmas is coming soon. hope everythings' good by then.
carol! think positive gal!
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2
ticking too quickly. time.
12:27 AM
Thursday, December 07, 2006
why? what? how? i keep asking myself.
gosh. i really have no idea.
is it better not to find out? will ignorance be a much better choice?
sigh. i don't know but i really hate things to hang around like that. it's like feelings and thoughts zooming across your mind like nobody's business. it's making me sick and weary. all the sadness has drained me of my energy.
reminds me of what my sister did about a month ago. how much i missed her. and how i felt so betrayed when she just went away like that. bringing so much misery.
and now, this. can't take it anymore.
but i have to thank my friends! they cheer me up so so much. =) i just love them.
but still..
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3
i miss you so much. don't you?
9:48 PM
recent thoughts:
number 1
do you know what hurt does to love?
it transforms love into hatred.
number 2:
the most difficult task ever is to hold back your tears.
hmm. what do you think?
*pondering...
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4
2:49 AM
Monday, December 04, 2006
Every now and then we find a special friend
Who never lets us down
Who understands it all
Reaches out each time you fall
You're the best friend that I've found
I know you can't stay
A part of you will never ever go away
Your heart will stay
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
If life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And If you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
I don't need eyes to see
The love you bring to me
No matter where I go
And I know that you'll be there
For ever more a part of me you're everywhere
I'll always care
I'll make a wish for you
And hope it will come true
If life will just be kind
To such a gentle mind
And if you lose your way
Think back on yesterday
Remember me this way
Remember me this way
And I'll be right behind your shoulder watching you
I'll be standing by your side in all you do
And I won't ever leave
As long as you believe
You just believe...
remember me this way - jordan hill
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6
Donde son mis estrellas? y mi corazon?
10:29 AM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
sob sob.
=(
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8
6:21 PM
Friday, December 01, 2006
yep, exams are totally over. well, at least for now. =) one semester's gone! great! it's now the holidays.
yet again, i feel so bored not studying. and i'm so free at home i'm getting headache from lying on the bed too much. compared to my holidays about 4, 5 months ago. argh! no night life. hey people! ask me out more often. out for a drink also not bad.
he's still having sch. prolly cant be out late. in fact, he's prolly sleeping already. sigh, can't even go out late at night. argh! ok. i'm just whining.
been having some problems in my head recently. but sometimes i ain't even sure what's bothering me. just, 'stuff' i guess. i don't know. mayb i should just really spend all my free time squashing or something. then these 'stuff' won't bother me so much.
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bleh. bad mood. stay away.
9
12:01 AM
