Sunday, January 28, 2007
this week.
i guess many happy things and unhappy things happened. unhappy things like quarrels and stuff. i should have been more mean and not take in those criticizing and insults. i know that i had been very cruel but i don't see any other way out. just because things did not happen the way he wante, that does not give him the right to say those mean things about me. i rather not listen at all. i did give him a chance, i could jolly well have ignored him all this while.
goodbye.
then there are happy things like finally meeting the one that i've been missing so much. though it was just a simple study meet-up, i'm really glad we did. there are times i feel that he's so near yet so far and keep have the urge to act like i shouldn't. argh. mayb i should just do what i feel like doing and stop thinking too much. it's just so tiring to think about all the thiss and the thats. i have to be selfish at times to make sure i have my happy life.
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missing you. though i don't know if you feel the same way, i'm still missing you.
11:58 PM
Friday, January 26, 2007
well, just started clearing up my messy life. still feel kinda lost. its like i still dont know what i'm actually doing. told jl about my decision and stuff last week. felt really terrible that day. was quite scared but i guess i know he will not harm me. frankly, i did think that i may regret my decision one day. it's like i may not find another guy that likes me so much? i don't really know. hmm. i just know that right now it's too much for me to take. still, i seriously hope that we can still be friends. maybe not right now. but after some time.
really wish i can go back to few months back, when life for me is still great and almost perfect. right now i just feel that i've lost something in me. though i don't know what something that is, i know that it's something precious. =(
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meeting him later. hmm. dont know why keep thinking of him. grr..
10:36 PM
Saturday, January 20, 2007
yes. i've made up my mind. i know what i'm going to do. i'm just afraid i don't have enough courage.
i'm so sorry.
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thanks for everything.
3:05 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007
my head is spinning like mad. don't know what i'm thinking. don't know what i want. can't seem to concentrate on anything. grr. it's really driving me nuts. carol is so screwed up.
too lazy to think right now. i know i'm very selfish but i just hope everything will turn out right, that all problems will go away. i don't want to feel this moody anymore.
my nose is starting to tingle. better stop thinking already.
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why?
2:39 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007
you brighten up my days.it's been a long time since i've ever felt so happy! thanks lots jl. =) can't wait to see you again! can't wait till wednesday already. i wanna see you everyday! haha. =P
whenever i see his messages i get so happy. then i will realise that i'm smiling to myself like an idiot. hee. am i really an idiot? yes, it feels like a dream. and i too hope that this dream will never ever end. i want to stay.
it's like i've just been forced right out of my wonderland and you pulled me back in.
=)
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one important lesson learnt. be wary of who to trust.
5:10 PM
